Vaginal Beauty and Body Image Issues

Nov 24, 2011 by Sage

Have you seen this photo going around the net showing off this baker’s talents and creativity?

 

Do they look good enough to eat?

I’ve always had body image issues. At, 5′ 6″, the smallest I could starve myself down to as a teenager was 112 and a size 3/5. I accomplished this through a combination of anorexia and bulimia. But I hated my body. I thought everything from the waist down was ugly… my vagina, my thighs, and even my feet. I didn’t want anything to do with those parts of myself and I didn’t think anyone would like them either.

Assuming my daughter is lucky to escape experiencing the things I had to deal with, she is still going to be bombarded with images in the media that most of us cannot live up to. How in the world do I give her tools to keep her self-esteem intact? All I can do is take advantage of moments that pop up unexpectedly when we speak of love that she should also include herself on the list. If I speak negatively about the way I look now, I always put it in the context of health… Mommy should not be this big because it is not healthy and it takes away my energy to play with her. Or Mommy is working at being at a healthy weight instead of using the word diet.

Because of my illness that I dealt with over the last 6 months, all the weight I had lost has come back on. I have had to be so sedentary. Look out New Year’s Eve… some major resolutions will be coming from me — a rare thing indeed.

No amount of walking is going to change the look of my vagina though. And I think I am okay with that, finally.

Last week, I had DH look at these cupcakes and I asked which one looked most like me. He had to pick several for me to get the full picture. Then I actually took photos of myself. Yes, I took pictures of my vagina. (No, I will not be posting them on the Gallery… at least not right away. *grinning* Can’t have you figuring out which one is mine, can I?)

My pussy looks different from how I remember it. I had c-sections, so it is not from giving birth. I think it is age. The inner lips have darkened a bit. The hair surrounding it, protecting it is sparser now and lighter from stray grays here and there. The full outer lips are still plump and I can actually say that I like them like that.

Some women have always relished that private, dark and lush part of themselves, but as I’ve mentioned before – I was always so uncomfortable that it was rare that I allowed a man to go down on me. As if it were a separate entity that didn’t that type of up-close intrusion. Of course I think that stems from the abuse and I wish I could share something specific that has made me come around to appreciation.

I don’t know if it is the work I’ve done internally, age, maturity or a little bit of each mixed together, but it is okay to love that part of me. Vagina. Cunt. Pussy. Vejayjay. I’ve come even further since the last time I blogged about it and tried to get the Vagina Beautiful Gallery off the ground. I’m not even blushing as I write this time. *smiles*

Maybe it is just me, but there is a certain power benefit that comes with loving your body. I’m not talking about using your body to get what you want, but loving your body allows you to get to a point where you want to do healthy things for it. Like not abusing it with food. LOL

Did you have an *Ah Ha* moment that changed your point of view about your body?